


sometimes, it all gets a little too much

by parkrstark



Series: Stony Bingo [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Child Death, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Role Reversal, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Gives Him One, Vomiting, and change the rating to mature, it's not graphic but is still present enough for me to make the warning, minor as in a child killed in a battle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26298307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkrstark/pseuds/parkrstark
Summary: On the battlefield, Steve was strong. He was not easily knocked down, and even when he was, he was right back up on his feet. He was quick to spit the blood from his mouth and wipe the grime from his face. But once the fight was over and the dust was settled, that was a different story.After a hard mission, Steve goes to the comfort he knows best.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Stony Bingo [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883416
Comments: 14
Kudos: 165





	sometimes, it all gets a little too much

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a conversation with a friend about how cute it was that Tony and Steve's rooms were right across from each other when the other teammates' were on another level of the Quinjet, in the new Avengers game. (pls don't spoil, I haven't finished playing it yet). Then we thought how cute it would be if they stumbled their way to each other's rooms after a tough mission, just to cuddle and enjoy each other's company. We also really liked the role reversal of Steve typically being the big spoon, but sometimes, something happens that breaks him and for once, he needs the comforting.
> 
> Please heed the tags for this one. There is a child death in this, though it is not graphic, it is a key point in the plot. So if that upsets you, please stay safe and skip this one. 
> 
> (title from a little too much by shawn mendes)
> 
> Fill for the 'cuddling' spot on my bingo

On the battlefield, Steve was strong. He was not easily knocked down, and even when he was, he was right back up on his feet. He was quick to spit the blood from his mouth and wipe the grime from his face. 

This battle was no different than any other. SHIELD had them fighting in some small town down south. Steve wasn’t sure why that town was targeted, but he knew their mission was to stop the army of robots from killing the innocent people that lived there. 

Tony probably knew what was going on and who was behind it because he had plenty of witty remarks to throw at the man controlling the bots. Steve let him do his thing while he did his own. The worst of the battle was when a robot hand shot him in the stomach and he felt the heat burn through his uniform. He gritted his teeth through the pain and pushed himself right back up and continued fighting though. 

The fight didn’t last very long in the grand scheme of it all, and once they had all of the robots taken care of, it was time to clean up. The Avengers didn’t have to stay, and usually, they didn’t. In NYC, there was a lot of people offering their help and fans usually came flocking over to them and prevented them from getting any work done. But in a small town like this, there weren’t big crews there to help. So, the Avengers happily stayed and helped to clean up as much as they could. 

Steve was doing a lot of the heavy lifting-- literally. Picking up things, lifting pieces of large rubble off of civilians. They all thanked him with a hug and a smile. Steve liked this part of the job-- seeing those they saved. 

But of course, along with the good, came the bad. 

A woman came over crying, her face was ashy except for the tear trails down her cheeks. “Avery!” her voice was wrecked and Steve could see her legs shaking. 

He managed to catch her by the arms as she came by to give her some support. “Miss, are you alright?”

“Avery, my baby-- I can’t find her!” Her green eyes were teary as they darted around the street. “She was picking up dinner for us and she hasn’t called since. Oh, my God.” 

Another man that Steve just helped out of a pile of rubble, quickly took over the comforting. “It’s alright, Becca. We’ll find her. You know she’s always running off chasing that wild imagination of hers.” 

Small town, right. Everybody knew everybody. That wasn’t like the city. While strangers helped strangers in catastrophic events in the city, no one knew each other’s names like these folks did. 

“What does Avery look like?” Steve asked. “I can go look for her.” 

“S-she’s 12-years-old. This tall with curly blonde hair and green eyes like me. Um, she was wearing a Transformers shirt. An Autobot symbol on the front with jeans and sandals.” Becca’s voice was wavering as she described, who Steve assumed was her daughter. 

“I will go look for her. Go sit, and have some water. Get checked out by our med-team. I’ll let you know when I find her.” He nodded his head, 

“Please find my baby girl, Captain America. Please.” 

“Of course,” he said before ushering them to the med-team and then starting his search. It was hard to find who he was looking for in the dusty streets, but he used his booming voice to call out for her. “Avery!” 

There was no response from any little girl. 

“Avery!” He continued looking, praying he’d hear a response. 

He passed by the team a few times in his search and none of them had seen a little girl by the name of Avery. Natasha said she’d check the tent. The tent was where they had unidentified people, either severely injured or gone. Steve prayed even harder that Natasha wouldn’t find her in there. 

But he must have prayed a little too hard for that because in the end, Natasha didn’t find her in that tent. Steve was the one that found her, crushed underneath a broken wall. Her blonde hair was matted with dark red and he knew just from a glimpse that she was gone. 

He didn’t uncover her right away. First, he leaned against the neared wall, and braced himself as he heaved up all of that day’s meals. 

He didn’t care how many dead bodies he’d seen from his time as a soldier and an Avenger. It still hurt to see. And when it was a child? God, there was nothing worse. 

Once he was done, he wiped his mouth and took a deep breath before walking back over to where the little girl was buried. He was gentle as he moved the bricks and cradled her in his arms.

He knew he’d never forget that little girl and how peaceful she looked, despite the tragedy. And he’d never forget the anguish in her mother’s screams when she saw her baby girl and realized she’d lost her. 

On the battlefield, Steve was strong. But once the fight was over and the dust was settled, that was a different story. 

So, Steve was good at getting right back up when a robot burnt his stomach. That was nothing. It was things like this that knocked Steve down and kept him there. 

He didn’t say a word when the Avengers got back into the Quinjet and got ready to head back to Avengers Tower. The rest of the team knew what happened and they knew Steve was the one to find her, so they let him be and gave him his space. Steve preferred it that way. He could deal with it all on his own time. And he did. 

It wasn't until later that night, a little bit into the morning, when he finally pushed himself for help. He was laying awake, staring at his ceiling, wondering why he was breathing when that little girl wasn’t. Surely, she deserved to live more than him. 

Could they have saved her? Was it a robot that destroyed the building that killed her? Or was it one of the Avengers in the fight? Was it him? 

Those questions filled his mind for hours before he finally had enough of the self torment and got out of bed. He was dressed in only a pair of sweats, socks, and the bandage wrapped around his midsection. He felt cold despite the high temperature his room was always set for. 

There was only one thing that could warm him up on a night like this. 

He was quiet as he left his room and walked across the hall to where Tony’s room was. He hesitated only a moment before twisting the doorknob and walking inside. He wasn’t sure if Tony was awake still, but if he wasn’t, Steve didn’t want to wake him up. Tony's presence, even unconscious, was enough of a comfort for him. 

The room was dark when he went in, and Steve could just barely make out the lump in Tony’s bed, where he was laying down. Steve carefully made his way over to his bed and lifted the blankets to crawl into bed next to him. He did his best not to move startle Tony awake. But, t he minute he was laying down, content to just lay there, Tony whispered, “Hey, Winghead...was wondering when you were coming in.” 

Hearing Tony’s voice was enough to break whatever dam he had built up. He felt a lump grow in his throat when he said, “I couldn’t be alone.” 

Tony was quiet as he switched his position in bed and wrapped himself around Steve. He pulled Steve’s head against his chest and his arc reactor glowed softly. Their legs tangled together and Tony's hand thread through Steve's hair. “You’re not alone. I’m right here.” 

Steve grabbed his shirt, trying to bury himself deeper in Tony’s hold. “She was so  _ young.  _ Why?” 

Tony sighed, rubbing Steve’s back softly. “I don’t know, Steve.” 

“She was so young,” was all Steve could get out. His mind was whittling with thoughts and questions, but it was all too much to voice. He knew he didn’t have to. Tony understood anyway. 

“I know.”  
  
“I wanted to save her. I wanted to bring her back to her mom.” Steve felt so small, so weak, so helpless. "I just wanted to save her."   


“The worst part about this job, is that we’ll never be able to save them all. Unfortunately.” 

“It’s not fair.” Steve squeezed his eyes shut, feeling some tears leak out. 

“It’s not.” 

And that was that. Then they were silent as they spent the next few hours in bed, just curled up, clinging to one another. 

After the bad missions, the really  _ really  _ bad ones, Tony or Steve almost always found their way to each other’s room at the end of the night. Usually, Steve was the one holding Tony, bad mission or not, because he was bigger, and he always felt like he was the one to protect Tony. 

But, sometimes, it was too much for even Steve, and Tony was always there to hold him. 

Some nights there was a lot of talking, and other nights, there wasn’t a word spoken. 

No matter how much or how little they spoke though, they always had each other. It was always them in the dark, holding onto each other and whatever good that was left. Because at the end of the day, that was all they had and they weren't going to let that go. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought!
> 
> Until next time,


End file.
